Dream. Dullness. Definition. Destination. Depression. Dollars. Despair. Drive. Deadlines. Decision. Domination. Derivation. Delight.
Procrastination, really :).
Emotion, logic, responsibility, all of that. None of that. What to do when you know D-Day is ahead? As it draws closer? And how is that all different when writing is involved?
Writing for business and education is D-Day for me. Professors and peers will present feedback, and no matter how experienced or well-versed you are in any field or subject, a grade or measurement of some sort will be attached to that piece. In business, coworkers and bosses and the public will be the critics. Both involve an influence on financial status. For that reason and many others mentioned above, emotion gets involved.
Target audience and caring about what feedback is shared will forever affect my writing. The writing course of the past 10 weeks was the bane of my existence, especially when a decline in my health status caused further delay in putting thoughts down on paper. Also, after weeks of having a break from being assistant editor for a weekly newspaper, the chief editor passed away suddenly, leaving me to help try to fill his shoes interim-style. But besides taking over most of his regular responsibilities, I have yet to write a tribute article for publication on the front page. Front page articles are nothing new. Tributes are nothing new. But it is about someone for whom I cared, and that is where D-Day starts to loom as procrastination and emotion fight to settle because logic keeps repeating all those D words I started this post with.
Ultimate improvement for my writing would be to never have to write at all. But it is selfish, because a whole range of people in my circle of influence would be unable to share in my thoughts, besides the fact that I am not sharing my thoughts in written form. Any assertiveness to share my thoughts is irrelevant, as writing mostly feels like a chore. It has felt that way since I was commissioned to draft letters of correspondence for executives of various standing when I was but 7-years-old; since I was asked to proof and contribute to a religious bi-monthly magazine, policies and procedures and other publications in various countries.
But even though I do not prefer to write when it comes to anything shared, I do write for personal growth in different journal forms, surprisingly. This particular course has reminded me that writing can only improve with knowledge and reading. Outlining on a separate and visible sheet of paper has helped me organize my thoughts more. Meantime, I would do best to start writing a draft, before a deadline looms. It is because of this new piece of advice that I know I will have more papers to write until writing assignments become a positive experience, with no trace of negativity.
Until then, several D-Days have passed.
More to come :).
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
R&R...
Nope!
Not rest and relaxation, as I would have wished and always wish, even in the moment.
Responsibility and Regulation.
Cannot live with them, but cannot live without them either. Education, the workplace, home, shopping, community upkeep, family get-togethers, church services and socials, lifestyle, health status, vacation ... even a 10-minute power nap. All of these and more require some degree of balance between regulation and responsibility. Responsibility can be the emotion, and regulation the logic. But even if vice versa, if there is any communication breakdown or high expectation, things can be either enjoyable or stressful or any mix of both.
Thankfully, my professors and family have made this week's responsibilities enjoyable for the most part. It was regulation that lingered as a warning that irresponsibility is a bad choice, but an occurrence nonetheless. Regulation is then an area I know I still need improvement in, and will need to work to make decided efforts to keep on my side and under control.
Meantime, reflecting and recounting through writing will be a tentative gauge and log of where I am. It has taken a few weeks to restore my health and resume life, while trying to catch up with everything in a seemingly haphazard style. I am encouraged, though, that my spinning and reeling has transitioned more towards jumping and rolling.
Anyway, someday, R&R will mean realistic and rewarding as my long-term goals are accomplished. The remaining days of this particular term will be filled with revamping and maybe some more revising; we'll see. This unit promises to replay in my mind for months to come. But I hope to never, ever, ever have to relive or repeat it ... ever again.
No; thank you :).
Not rest and relaxation, as I would have wished and always wish, even in the moment.
Responsibility and Regulation.
Cannot live with them, but cannot live without them either. Education, the workplace, home, shopping, community upkeep, family get-togethers, church services and socials, lifestyle, health status, vacation ... even a 10-minute power nap. All of these and more require some degree of balance between regulation and responsibility. Responsibility can be the emotion, and regulation the logic. But even if vice versa, if there is any communication breakdown or high expectation, things can be either enjoyable or stressful or any mix of both.
Thankfully, my professors and family have made this week's responsibilities enjoyable for the most part. It was regulation that lingered as a warning that irresponsibility is a bad choice, but an occurrence nonetheless. Regulation is then an area I know I still need improvement in, and will need to work to make decided efforts to keep on my side and under control.
Meantime, reflecting and recounting through writing will be a tentative gauge and log of where I am. It has taken a few weeks to restore my health and resume life, while trying to catch up with everything in a seemingly haphazard style. I am encouraged, though, that my spinning and reeling has transitioned more towards jumping and rolling.
Anyway, someday, R&R will mean realistic and rewarding as my long-term goals are accomplished. The remaining days of this particular term will be filled with revamping and maybe some more revising; we'll see. This unit promises to replay in my mind for months to come. But I hope to never, ever, ever have to relive or repeat it ... ever again.
No; thank you :).
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Spinning 'round and 'round
History repeats itself.
Oh yeah?
Hmmmm...
Hope so for some things. Hope not for some others.
Hope sos:
spending happy times with family, keeping healthy and alive, learning new things education-wise and on a spiritual level, laughing often, being there for family and friends in their times of joy and pain, getting challenged by the courses I take, receiving hydrotherapy and massage treatments, traveling to visit family and friends, sharing recipes and tasting successful experiments, conversing over ideas and people, etc.
Hope nots:
unpreparedness in regards to natural disasters, 2 phone conversations at once unless they are directly connected, robbing a person's prerogative as an intelligent being by assuming or boxing their character, comply with negative desires which inspires and emboldens even worse occurrences, anxiousness, seeming success, rebellious complaints, defiance, costly showing, etc.
The lists come from a wide variety of situations, and an even wider time range. Being native to a small island country warrants cause for listing events in both lists, given the wide circle of influence. The pressure is definitely there. But there are so many promises of growth and success, and forgiveness to help me forget and learn from mistakes.
For that matter, spinning can be caused by dizziness and a loss of sense of direction. But spinning, for me, will be my imaginary Plushenko-like quadruple-triple combination, :) even though reality tells me single axles are still in style off-ice. Right now, reality is telling me it's dinnertime, and my stomach is spinning without purpose. Reality is also reminding me there are thoughts spinning in my head that will someday be typed into a blog or so, but their moment has not yet come.
Meantime, March has begun, and the melodies of the concert masters bid me stand up and bid the computer adieu....
...**spinning**~**turning**~**twirling**~**looping**~**twizzling**...
Oh yeah?
Hmmmm...
Hope so for some things. Hope not for some others.
Hope sos:
spending happy times with family, keeping healthy and alive, learning new things education-wise and on a spiritual level, laughing often, being there for family and friends in their times of joy and pain, getting challenged by the courses I take, receiving hydrotherapy and massage treatments, traveling to visit family and friends, sharing recipes and tasting successful experiments, conversing over ideas and people, etc.
Hope nots:
unpreparedness in regards to natural disasters, 2 phone conversations at once unless they are directly connected, robbing a person's prerogative as an intelligent being by assuming or boxing their character, comply with negative desires which inspires and emboldens even worse occurrences, anxiousness, seeming success, rebellious complaints, defiance, costly showing, etc.
The lists come from a wide variety of situations, and an even wider time range. Being native to a small island country warrants cause for listing events in both lists, given the wide circle of influence. The pressure is definitely there. But there are so many promises of growth and success, and forgiveness to help me forget and learn from mistakes.
For that matter, spinning can be caused by dizziness and a loss of sense of direction. But spinning, for me, will be my imaginary Plushenko-like quadruple-triple combination, :) even though reality tells me single axles are still in style off-ice. Right now, reality is telling me it's dinnertime, and my stomach is spinning without purpose. Reality is also reminding me there are thoughts spinning in my head that will someday be typed into a blog or so, but their moment has not yet come.
Meantime, March has begun, and the melodies of the concert masters bid me stand up and bid the computer adieu....
...**spinning**~**turning**~**twirling**~**looping**~**twizzling**...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Unit 6 Turnaround ...
So far, in my experience since becoming a KU student, extreme troubles and trials come during this unit.
Semester 1 involved a family emergency trip.
Semester 2's unit 6 started right after the earthquake and tsunami in Samoa and American Samoa, and my time and efforts went towards reassuring family and friends of my parents' safety, and relief projects.
Semester 3 was better handled, thankfully, but trials were present nonetheless.
This time, it was my health. Given, over the years, February is the month I get sick with some kind of bug - not the flu - and have to stay in bed for a few days. This had not happened for several years, so I was unprepared for it.
But this time, my baby sister in law school spoiled me - bringing me water; asking what I wanted to eat and making it, within reason of cravings; doing her law school homework within hearing range in case I needed something; driving me to my errands that could not be put off; staying home with me over the weekend; rearranging things to ensure my comfort....
She took such good care of me. Whatever other Unit 6 disasters await, and despite all the work I now need to catch up with, my renewed health and ability to continue life is attributed to my Heavenly Father, my family's prayers, and this time, especially my baby sister.
Semester 1 involved a family emergency trip.
Semester 2's unit 6 started right after the earthquake and tsunami in Samoa and American Samoa, and my time and efforts went towards reassuring family and friends of my parents' safety, and relief projects.
Semester 3 was better handled, thankfully, but trials were present nonetheless.
This time, it was my health. Given, over the years, February is the month I get sick with some kind of bug - not the flu - and have to stay in bed for a few days. This had not happened for several years, so I was unprepared for it.
But this time, my baby sister in law school spoiled me - bringing me water; asking what I wanted to eat and making it, within reason of cravings; doing her law school homework within hearing range in case I needed something; driving me to my errands that could not be put off; staying home with me over the weekend; rearranging things to ensure my comfort....
She took such good care of me. Whatever other Unit 6 disasters await, and despite all the work I now need to catch up with, my renewed health and ability to continue life is attributed to my Heavenly Father, my family's prayers, and this time, especially my baby sister.
Monday, February 8, 2010
When I am 94 years old...
My maternal grandmother is 94 years old today!!
9 out of 10 of her children are in attendance, including my parents, besides numerous grandchildren, all the down to a couple of great-great-grandchildren. The celebration is at #6's home in the family village of Taputimu in American Samoa. This is the first birthday celebration I have missed in many years.
So it got me wondering if school is really worth missing out on this momentous occasion.
Tonight, as I think of the close fellowship with our matriarch, dedicatory worship and prayer, shared testimonies, practice for special items, flashes from over 20 cameras, new outfits or uniforms, heaps of food, tons of people, the cooling heat of twilight and the close of the summer season, the beauty of sunset by the sea visible through the den windows (if you're facing that way), waves crashing on the rocky shore (where most of us stand & slide backwards as the waves gently push without felling us), I would say no. It was not worth missing.
And then my siblings and cousins who were also unable to attend remind me, even now, that it was not an issue of finance that kept me from attending. It was education, and that, for the moment, is the greater good. No questions. And yes, I do have science classes with labs I am taking from the community college besides online school.
So of course my heart yearns for my grandmother and parents and hugs and family and food and the ocean and the island life that would have come with a trip to the South Pacific (recently termed the football island during a 60 minutes episode). To keep busy, my assignments are getting completed. My diet was especially healthy today. My journal of goals and to-dos got more ticks in the past few days than ever before. All in the hopes that if and when I am 94 years old, I will be as healthy, happy, missed, admired, loved, accomplished, and close to my heavenly Father as my grandmother - Fueainaula Lam Yuen - is today on her birthday.
Manuia lou aso fanau, Granny!! Alofa tele atu :)
9 out of 10 of her children are in attendance, including my parents, besides numerous grandchildren, all the down to a couple of great-great-grandchildren. The celebration is at #6's home in the family village of Taputimu in American Samoa. This is the first birthday celebration I have missed in many years.
So it got me wondering if school is really worth missing out on this momentous occasion.
Tonight, as I think of the close fellowship with our matriarch, dedicatory worship and prayer, shared testimonies, practice for special items, flashes from over 20 cameras, new outfits or uniforms, heaps of food, tons of people, the cooling heat of twilight and the close of the summer season, the beauty of sunset by the sea visible through the den windows (if you're facing that way), waves crashing on the rocky shore (where most of us stand & slide backwards as the waves gently push without felling us), I would say no. It was not worth missing.
And then my siblings and cousins who were also unable to attend remind me, even now, that it was not an issue of finance that kept me from attending. It was education, and that, for the moment, is the greater good. No questions. And yes, I do have science classes with labs I am taking from the community college besides online school.
So of course my heart yearns for my grandmother and parents and hugs and family and food and the ocean and the island life that would have come with a trip to the South Pacific (recently termed the football island during a 60 minutes episode). To keep busy, my assignments are getting completed. My diet was especially healthy today. My journal of goals and to-dos got more ticks in the past few days than ever before. All in the hopes that if and when I am 94 years old, I will be as healthy, happy, missed, admired, loved, accomplished, and close to my heavenly Father as my grandmother - Fueainaula Lam Yuen - is today on her birthday.
Manuia lou aso fanau, Granny!! Alofa tele atu :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Plagiarisms
There are several works that can be plagiarized. Some are more obvious than others.
The obvious ones include published written works. Books. Articles. Journals.
Less obvious and blurred are individual quotes. Works of art or music. Internet posts of various file types. This goes into creative interpretation, and who had the original thought or idea.
This week, Unit 4, I also found that time can be plagiarized. My time, for example. Given, I did not contest not being credited for my time spent otherwise. But because the issue would be considered personal and not business or academic, my academic requirements suffered. My business duties did not suffer; however, some explanation needed to be made as to my "disappearance." For this purpose, what does constitute a family emergency? Says who? Would an explanation result in a lecture on time management?
It would seem then that sometimes, plagiarism measurement comes down to what the personal relationship with whoever the author or composer of the idea or thought is. In the case of written works used for research papers, in most cases, sources were gathered off databases, and so plagiarism would be considered because of the general nature of the published works. In music, some time is dedicated to the study of the history and biography of the composer, and new styles that evolve are appreciated, admired, and recorded. But in personal situations, tempers could rise, or love and courtesy could abound.
Well, this issue comes full circle, so in general? Cite, cite cite. No matter what.
The obvious ones include published written works. Books. Articles. Journals.
Less obvious and blurred are individual quotes. Works of art or music. Internet posts of various file types. This goes into creative interpretation, and who had the original thought or idea.
This week, Unit 4, I also found that time can be plagiarized. My time, for example. Given, I did not contest not being credited for my time spent otherwise. But because the issue would be considered personal and not business or academic, my academic requirements suffered. My business duties did not suffer; however, some explanation needed to be made as to my "disappearance." For this purpose, what does constitute a family emergency? Says who? Would an explanation result in a lecture on time management?
It would seem then that sometimes, plagiarism measurement comes down to what the personal relationship with whoever the author or composer of the idea or thought is. In the case of written works used for research papers, in most cases, sources were gathered off databases, and so plagiarism would be considered because of the general nature of the published works. In music, some time is dedicated to the study of the history and biography of the composer, and new styles that evolve are appreciated, admired, and recorded. But in personal situations, tempers could rise, or love and courtesy could abound.
Well, this issue comes full circle, so in general? Cite, cite cite. No matter what.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Onlioness
Blogging is most revealing of one's thoughts and perceptions. Fear of acceptance looms, but confidence sets in, although rather late.
Both the fear of acceptance and the resulting confidence carries over into being an online student, where there is no need to meet anyone face-to-face for any reason. Self-direction is a must, otherwise one might as well renounce Kaplan-ism, and maybe become a phoenix. The flexibility of the online environment has proven to depend on natural disasters, and a post dedicated to this topic lurks in the back-burner of my mind while I struggle with emotions linked to recent natural disasters.
Being part of a blog-o-sphere is a self-induced limiting experience. For now, my followers are school mates, who are, by default, held at arm's length. One day, I will feel free to share this log of my inmost feelings with my family and friends. Might it seem odd my nervousness stems from lack of confidence in writing style versus content? Until I feel my typed words invoke as much feeling and guided reaction as my piano notes, this blog will remain caged. Locked up in a unit assignment.
Both the fear of acceptance and the resulting confidence carries over into being an online student, where there is no need to meet anyone face-to-face for any reason. Self-direction is a must, otherwise one might as well renounce Kaplan-ism, and maybe become a phoenix. The flexibility of the online environment has proven to depend on natural disasters, and a post dedicated to this topic lurks in the back-burner of my mind while I struggle with emotions linked to recent natural disasters.
Being part of a blog-o-sphere is a self-induced limiting experience. For now, my followers are school mates, who are, by default, held at arm's length. One day, I will feel free to share this log of my inmost feelings with my family and friends. Might it seem odd my nervousness stems from lack of confidence in writing style versus content? Until I feel my typed words invoke as much feeling and guided reaction as my piano notes, this blog will remain caged. Locked up in a unit assignment.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Musical Encouragement
Soon and very soon we are going to see the King.
No more crying there. We are going to see the King!
No more dying there. We are going to see the King!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We are going to see the King!
Ua latalata mai, lou Alii e Faaola. Alleluia!
These are words to a chorus that, as a musician, inspire encouragement during this time of loss. My family and country of Samoa and American Samoa are still recovering from the effects of the earthquake and tsunami on September 29, 2009. Haiti just had a fatal earthquake, as well. More of my friends' family members have passed away, and still more are contracting food-related diseases, while others die of hereditary-initiated illnesses.
But even in times of loss and pain, my heavenly Father promises heaven. In this, I have hope that relieves suffering, and helps me to keep on keeping on. Otherwise, depression would reign... Thank goodness for musical therapy!
Hallelujah! We are going to see the King!
No more crying there. We are going to see the King!
No more dying there. We are going to see the King!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We are going to see the King!
Ua latalata mai, lou Alii e Faaola. Alleluia!
These are words to a chorus that, as a musician, inspire encouragement during this time of loss. My family and country of Samoa and American Samoa are still recovering from the effects of the earthquake and tsunami on September 29, 2009. Haiti just had a fatal earthquake, as well. More of my friends' family members have passed away, and still more are contracting food-related diseases, while others die of hereditary-initiated illnesses.
But even in times of loss and pain, my heavenly Father promises heaven. In this, I have hope that relieves suffering, and helps me to keep on keeping on. Otherwise, depression would reign... Thank goodness for musical therapy!
Hallelujah! We are going to see the King!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
hmmm...
No man [or woman :)] is an island.
Symposiums are generally inclusive of more than one person, so to accommodate this, I invite you to post comments. Also, I will post up quotes, besides my thoughts.
Meantime, week 1 of 2010 is ending off productively :)
So to you all, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." 3 Jn. 1:2
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Symposiums are generally inclusive of more than one person, so to accommodate this, I invite you to post comments. Also, I will post up quotes, besides my thoughts.
Meantime, week 1 of 2010 is ending off productively :)
So to you all, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." 3 Jn. 1:2
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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